I know you’re frustrated. I know you’re tired. I know you’re having a hard time convincing yourself to believe that things are going to get better. I know you want the pain to stop — you want the overthinking to stop — you want the self-doubt to stop. But please, you need to hold on a little longer.

Just like the stars at night, you are here for a purpose, and God wanted you to be here.

“You are a failure.” “You are a total embarrassment.” “You are a hopeless case.” “Nobody likes to be around you because you are unstable and problematic.”

These are some of things that mostly trigger me to overthink every night, before I go to sleep. Those minutes where I am alone. Just me and my pillow. I always think — a lot. I think about anything — everything. It varies from “What am I doing with my life?” to “Did I do something embarrassing that made people distance themselves from me today?”

It gives me the chills because the house is so silent, yet my mind is so loud. And it drives me crazy because of these things that I shouldn’t be thinking.

This is also the reason why I can’t stop myself from being always apologetic, because I am afraid to show how messed up I am, and disappoint everyone around me.

Maybe the monsters aren’t really living under my bed, but in my head.

Although it’s not consistent, as there are still nights that I get back to being a mess, I am thankful to myself that I am slowly going back and finally get excited over things that motivate me to continue everyday.

As time passes by, I am gradually realizing that it’s us who have the control whether to let those negative thoughts to get inside our head. The trick is that you can’t always win — and it’s okay because everyday we have the chance to fight and win these battles in our head.

But during the days when you feel like conceding, and don’t feel okay enough to function as usual, don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t call yourself a failure. Don’t assume there’s something wrong with you. Just pause for a while, and take deep breath.

To heal a man you must heal the boy — you need to start with your inner child

Sometimes, remembering the struggles you’ve been through to get to where you are right now, helps you to become adamant and continue fighting. The past was hard to some of us. It brought us unimaginable trauma that we still have until now. But here we are, staying strong.

As someone who had a childhood trauma, it’s really hard to move forward and leave this excess baggage behind. It still keeps on haunting me until today, and it probably plays a huge role for me to sometimes think I will never become a normal person and I don’t deserve to be understood by anyone and be treated nice.

But then, it also teaches me that the past we had helped us to better ourselves to face what tomorrow might bring. That you can be free to become anything you want, and never allow your past to define of who you are going to be. And that’s something I am proud of myself, learning to embrace my past, and love myself more.

I hope that one day, you too, will be able to finally understand what it means to sincerely love yourself. I hope that you will stop looking at yourself like an utter disappointment. I hope, and I know that you will be able to get yourself up from the ocean of thoughts that keeps on drowning you inside your mind.

I hope that one day, you would realize how deserving you are of all the best things in this world.